For a while now I’ve been lurking (that’s internet speak for reading but not participating) the discussions at a certain Facebook group dedicated to trainers. I thought it would be good idea to stick around and see what these guys discuss. After all, I am part of “the industry.” Cannot hurt, right?


Today by accident (thank you phone notifications) I’ve noticed a drama thread erupting there. What was it about? Something pointless as usual. Somebody got banned by an admin. A shitstorm followed. Sides were taken.

Thanks to this I had a quick flashback to my teenage times, when I would eagerly co-create such dramas on an internet forum. Apparently these things never get old.

Hold on I’ll get me some popcorn…

If I’d bother to scroll down the full discussion it could take half a day. But I didn’t. Instead this led me to start contemplating the reasons these kind of groups even exists.

Because I believe they are a massive waste of time. Why are they even there? Because:

  • Belonging to a group brings comfort. You get pats on the back from being one of them. I get that.
  • Numbers bring comfort. If others are here then maybe you should be too? That’s social proof.
  • Getting involved gives a sense of engagement and progress. You are getting somewhere. But are you?

I have a friend. She is in top 1% of her industry. Absolutely smashing it. Customers lining up. Bookings two years in advance.

She never reads industry Facebook groups. Does not reply to drama threads. Does not try to make an appearance.

She is just doing her thing. And doing it much better than those who misuse their limited energy.

So pass on the group membership. You don’t need it.

Do your own thing.

Wojciech is a trainer, teacher and life-long learner on the topic of effective communication. He believes that speaking clearly, effectively and with confidence is essential to our success and taking advantage of all life’s opportunities. READ MORE